Where I work is on top of a hill. Today, I left the car park and drove down that hill with a heart as light as a feather, knowing that I had just made the best decision I’d ever made. I’ve taken the plunge…I’m not going back to work!! Well, at least not for another year. I feel jubilant. I feel elated. I feel that a seismic shift has happened for me….Mrs ‘follow the career path, do not stray from the straight and narrow’ has decided to go against what might have been expected to spend more time with my children while they are so little. I am in no way passing judgement on other mothers who work but am just recognising how big this is for me.
Everything has changed for me in the last few months, well really since Harry’s birth. That little boy has taught me how to really love and accept my children for the wonderful miracles that they are and Jennie at Edspire and other mummy bloggers have taught me about how precious their little lives are and also how fun it can be spending time with them once a bit of effort has been made. I thank them all and wish with all my heart that Matilda Mae was still here but her legacy has left a rather large mark on this family, helping us to make this momentous May-day decision.
It is Matilda’s 1st birthday tomorrow and we will be blowing bubbles and lighting candles and I will shed tears for her mummy who always knew what I have only just come to. Thank you Jennie for pointing me in the right direction and I will hold you in my heart tomorrow.
It’s going to be hard, particularly financially, but I’m so happy and that just tells me that this is the right thing for us. Yippee!!
Sitting on the back steps blowing bubbles with Toby.
Putting Harry in the swing for the first time and seeing him smile and laugh when Toby pushed him.
The boys eating a snack outside sitting on the picnic rug.
Going for a walk with a friend and our little ones round University Park in Oxford and feeling lucky to have such spaces on our doorstep.
Noticing the tulips that are just about to pop in the garden.
Opening the windows!
Letting Harry feel the grass for the first time.
Watching Toby play with compost and water and not worrying about the mess.
Feeling the sun thawing my woes.
So it appears that my beautiful boy is allergic/intolerant to dairy. Hasn’t been a problem up until now and I’ve eaten dairy (and you’ve seen the size of him!), but since weaning, his face has turned from the perfect, peachy skin of a chubby baby to a dry, rashy, and now blistered, mess. Oh Harry, I am so sorry! I started this weaning business a little reluctant but confident and keen to go down the BLW route. There are no allergies or intolerances (bar to each other) in our family and so I went in, all guns blazing, giving him little bits of what we were eating (as per instructed by the book!). The rash started after some yoghurt, but, not being a purist, I had just dunked the spoon in Toby’s strawberry fromage frais rather than trying first with natural yoghurt…so it wasn’t clear if the reaction was to strawberries or yoghurt. I’d also made him drop scones with a bit of cheese…and given him pitta bread. I was kicking myself that I’d done it this way so that it was impossible to isolate the culprit.
Anyway, after a bit more of a systematic approach, it appears that it is, in fact, dairy. Unfortunately, the NHS is not terribly helpful here as I’ve been told that they won’t test him unless he has a bad reaction and so I’ve just got to go through a process of trial and error. The problem is, that the ‘error’ results in my baby looking like he’s had acid thrown at him (perhaps a bit of an exaggeration but that what it feels like to me). I feel a bit adrift with it all now and don’t know whether to start again following the official puree advice (which is what my HV wants, clearly) or to carry on with BLW…answers on a postcard please!